It’s Time to Rewrite Liverpool FC’s Script

Posted: May 8, 2014 in Articles



Someone has ripped up Liverpool FC’s script for the season. Neil Poole desperately scraps around trying to stick it back together again.

Anfield, Liverpool, Sunday 27h April 2014.

Excuse me, who the f*ck let this other team onto our pitch!

Something’s gone wrong here. See the lad stumbling like a new-born lamb? That’s Stevie f*cking G. I think you’ll find he deserves to win this league. The neutrals have spoken don’t you know.

Wait, you with the incredibly short name, what ARE you doing? We haven’t scored our 3 goals yet. Don’t put the ball in the back of the ne…

This team has been coached to victory. Coached to victory I tell you. It’s been put together for a quid and is about to jump from 7th to 1st. So what the f*ck is going on!

Sturridge is on. He’ll score against his old club. It’s written in those stars he’s pointing too. God loves competitive sports and takes sides don’t you know.

You! You in the blue. You’re just in the way there. And you. And you…Can everyone just move over a bit?

Aspas is on. Watch this. He’s so sh*t he’ll probably score. Love it. Meant to happen…

I don’t understand that corner.

Surely it’s not fair for two of their ‘foot’ players to be up against our one ‘hand’ player. How’s he supposed to stop that going in! Can someone check the f*cking rule book please?

What? What do you mean there’s other teams who want to win the league?

The cheeky b*stards.

For 24 hours after our 2 nil defeat to Chelsea I was indignant with petulant rage that our quest for a 19th league title wasn’t going to be the procession I’d hoped for. The fairy story script has been ripped up and we’ve been handed a tense thriller instead. It just isn’t cricket.



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